Coutta’s Cut: Coutta cops a gender bender

Quite a few years ago, before I became the sensitive and politically correct self of today, I fished the local Police Trout Fishing Competition.

One year was a bit touch and go as the briefing and prize giving was always held in the Police Bar. These bars are a thing of the past and Lynne the Ruthless thinks this should have happened years ago, in fact, she feels a bit hard done by that police wives these days don’t have husbands who frequent the places.

On the occasion I’ve mentioned, I could not attend the bar due to being banned for three months due to some minor indiscretion, I didn’t even remember the next morning. I even won it one year when an 11-pound rainbow made the fatal mistake of yawning when it swam past my lure and totally accidentally hooked itself. The same year, due to perfect lure presentation and skillful angling (her version), Lynne the Ruthless won the women’s prize with a fish much smaller than mine. Much, much smaller I might add.

Back then, the prize was a pink rod or something similar, nothing over the top. Then, one year while I was still far less sensitive than I am today, the women and some wives got together and put together a substantial women’s prize. I thought bugger this, sexism has no place in a police fishing contest, so I threw together a ‘blokes’ prize.’

At the late notice, I couldn’t get hold of a blow-up doll but there was some blokey type stuff in it, if you know what I mean. Well, some of the bloody women had got wind of my ‘blokes’ prize’ and it wasn’t particularly well received. In fact, it went over like a cup of cold sick.

So, where am I going with this? Well, I’m sticking my neck out again to a distance where a lot of people will probably want to cut it off. I think a fishing competition should have a totally level playing field. An entry should be an entry, irrespective of gender and age. The prize pool should be there for the whole field so if a male, female or a kid gets a decent fish, he or she should be rewarded for it.

I can say along with many people, I have never cheated in a fishing contest. I can say, hand on heart, if Lynne the Ruthless weighs in a fish in a contest, she has hooked, played and landed it. My only involvement would be putting a landing net underneath it.

We all know, however, in some cases this doesn’t happen. I know and I’m sure others do; some women and kids have weighed in fish they didn’t catch but was caught by a male member of the crew who knew it would not win a prize in the main section. Sorry, very sad but very true.

So, if we are going to have competitions, let’s have fair competitions. There are women competitions, kid competitions and if this government stays in, I’m sure there will be transgender competitions in the future. So long as there is a level playing field, I don’t really care what they are. Spot ya next month.

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