Coutta’s Cut: Ramping up the aggro

I just mentioned to Lynne the Ruthless, it’s bloody Saturday and Annette wants everything in by Sunday night. I’d better get my arse into gear. She asked me if I was yet again going to write about what Jacinda and the Labour Party have done to piss me off over the last month. I gave her a look of total WTF are you talking about and patiently explained Crimpy only allows me 500 words, not bloody 5,000, so no, I haven’t got room to write about that.

I will however mention something that does get on my wick and correctly assume others will agree with me. That’s people buggering around at boat ramps. Many years ago, I reluctantly came home from the Northern Territory. I didn’t want to but the Ruthless seemed to think we should, due to relatively minor reasons such as being flooded in for four months of the year, all of us getting giardia, me getting too old to fight with the locals and being three hundred kilometres from the nearest doctor or, more importantly, a hairdresser. Also, she sort of indicated that she was coming anyway so I thought it best I tagged along.

Coming from a little outback settlement to Auckland was quite a culture shock for me but a simple thing that relieved that shock was visits to the Half Moon Bay boat ramp on a Sunday afternoon. With a couple of cold Lion Reds, it was honestly the best free entertainment in town. What I witnessed there was highly amusing, mainly because I wasn’t one of people trying to get their boats out of the water. I saw everything from drunks falling into the water, boats getting rammed from behind, trailers jack knifed across a two lane ramp and even the odd punch up.

I only lasted a few years in Auckland before securing a transfer to Rotorua. My fishing area was and still is the Bay of Plenty out of Tauranga and, to a lesser extent, the various Rotorua lakes. While people here are a bit more skilful in backing trailers and operating boats, there are still more than a few dickheads who think it is perfectly okay to back onto the ramp before getting their boats ready to drop into the water. They are, or seem, oblivious to the fact that there are people waiting to get onto the water while they piss around undoing shackles, taking off tie downs and even climbing onto their boats to look for the bungs. Just the other day I was waiting at a ramp on one of the lakes. I had my boat ready to go but had to stand and watch a guy putting his jet ski onto the trailer for, I assume, the first time. A jet ski cannot be as difficult as this guy made it. When he finally succeeded, he then pulled the trailer out of the water, stopped and, still blocking the ramp, put his tie downs on. He then smiled and gave me a friendly wave. How I waved back indicated to him I wasn’t as friendly as he was. I know I’m getting old and grumpy but…

Catch you next month.

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