Woke Foot & Mouth a worry

The goat was part of a secret vaccine experiment

A renowned North Island trophy hunter who wishes to remain anonymous, Iva Biggun, sent in this picture of a trophy goat he shot earlier this year in the hills behind Wellington City. Iva was stunned to see the goat sporting a face mask along with a record set of horns and told The Fishing Paper & Hunting News that it was a difficult stalk that finally brought the animal down.

“It was very cagey and appeared to not want to mingle with its ilk, so, consequently, I couldn’t get within two-metres of the damn thing.”

It took Iva two weeks of cautious stalking and sleeping under gorse bushes before he was able to get close enough to make a humane shot.

“I put it down to the fact that, by this stage, I must have smelt like a rutting old billy so it didn’t notice me.”

He said the goat wasn’t in good shape:

“It clearly hadn’t eaten in sometime, probably because the damn mask got in the way—they clearly aren’t good for the health!”

Iva was at a loss as to why the goat was wearing a mask so The Fishing Paper & Hunting News did some investigating.

Ultimately, we were directed to the head of New Zealand’s agency the Future Unscientific Control of Kinesics and Symbiotically Attributable Killer Epidemiology,

Professor Mike Hendrickson, who told us the goat was part an experimental vaccine programme to thwart a potential outbreak of a novel virus strain emerging from our capital city.

“It appears Woke Foot & Mouth Disease is becoming prevalent and the scary thing is, it is suspected to be able to leap species.”

He told The Fishing Paper & Hunting News that Woke Foot & Mouth Disease was thought to originate in a Beehive and has since spread to goats across the country.

He’s not kidding.

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